Thursday, February 18, 2010

Training Course for Men

photo:dontdatethatdude.files.wordpress.com

Course's theme: to become as intelligent as a woman (that is, to be perfect).
Pedagogical objective: training course that allows men to develop that part of the brain of which they ignore the existence.
Program: 4 modules of which one required
Module 1: Basic Course, Mandatory
1. Learning to live without the mother (2000 hours)
2. My wife is not my mom (350 hours)
3. Understanding that football it's just a sport (500 hours)
Module 2:
Married life
1. Having children without getting jealous (50 hours)
2. Stop saying nonsense when my wife hosts her friends (500 hours)
3. Overcoming the remote's syndrome (550 hours)
4. I do not pee out of the wc (100 hours, practical exercises with video)
5. Being able to satisfy my wife before she starts to pretend (1500 hours)
6. How to reach the basket of dirty laundry without getting lost (500 hours)7. How to survive a cold without agonize (300 hours)
Module 3: Free Time
1. How to iron, in two stages (a shirt in less than two hours, practical exercises)
2. Digesting and washing dishes without burping (exercises)
Module 4: Cooking Class
Level 1 (beginners): electrical appliances: ON = ON - OFF = OFF
Level 2 (advanced): My first pre-cooked soup without burning the pot.
Practical exercises: boil the water before adding spaghetti.
This course will also include Masters, due to the complexity and difficulty in understanding the issues, the courses will have a maximum of 8 members.
Theme 1: From the washing machine to the closet: a mysterious process.
Theme 2: The risk of filling the ice-cube trays (with the support of demonstration slides).
Theme 3: You and electricity: the economic advantages of hiring an expert for repairs (even the most basic).
Theme 4: Last scientific discovery: cooking and throwing the garbage do not cause impotence or quadriplegia (practice in the laboratory).
Theme 5: Why it is not a crime to give flowers even if you're already married to her.
Theme 6: The paper roll: "is the paper roll born in the holder?" (exhibitions on the subject of spontaneous generation).
Theme 7: How to lower the toilet seat, step by step (teleconference with the Harvard University )
Theme 8: Why you don't need to shake the sheets after issuing flatulence (reflection exercises in couples).
Theme 9: Can the men who drive ask for information to passers-by, when they are lost, without the risk of appearing impotent? (testimonials).
Theme 10: Fundamental differences between the basket of dirty clothes and the ground (exercises in the music therapy laboratory ).
Theme 11: The man in the passenger seat: is it genetically possible not to speak or freak out, while she's parking?
Theme 12: The breakfast's cup: does it levitate itself to the sink? (exercises conducted by a magician).
P.s.: this is not mine, but I find it totally hilarious. ( I'm a woman, of course)

6 comments:

  1. I was laughing so hard! It really made my evening!

    My hubby is just getting some kind of sickness, and he is already crying about it. UGH!

    He doesn't even have a fever. Such a pissy mood. I just wanted to scream, and then I read this...CRACKING UP!
    Thank you!

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  2. I think I have seen something like this before; apparently the men have not since it is still circulating.

    Stopping in from SITS.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yep... that is just where I am living this week... LOL great laugh, and so true!

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  4. Too funny! I am going to show THE MAN.
    Stopping by from SITS to say Hi!
    I am adding you so I can come back & read more!
    Please stop by!
    http://extremepersonalmeasures.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha Ha - my husband cleaned the bathrooms today - wooo-hoooooo.. Just like in the pic :D

    ReplyDelete

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